ManMate Dating 101

From years of experience working with single gay men, the following dating tips are found in the best-selling book “The 7-Day Dating and Relationship Plan for Gay Men” by ManMate Founder, Grant Wheaton.

Dating Tips for the First Date

Choice of place to meet.

Very important. Make it a quiet, neutral place outside of your home or apartment and away from noisy gay bars. You want to be able to communicate easily. Arrive to the date on time.

Focus on the other guy.

Since this is a new opportunity to connect, avoid distractions. Relate directly to him and listen to what he has to say. This is especially helpful if you tend to be nervous or quiet at first.

Balance the conversation.

Don't monopolize it with a rambling verbal resume about yourself or accomplishments. This is a first date, not a job interview. Give and take.

Stay in the present.

Avoid talking about ex-boyfriends or any horror stories from the past. Believe me, he doesn't want to hear about it on your first meeting. Concentrate on interests or points of view you have in common. Deal with now, not then. Be true to who you are and not who you were.

Positive energy.

Let's face it. First impressions are important. If you're exuding negative energy or a rigid demeanor, who's going to be interested? Lighten up. Remain open minded. Bring your curiosity and sense of adventure. Acknowledge the special quality you bring and let it come through..

Getting sexual right away.

Doesn't usually work out. Allow yourself time to balance physical attraction with other important elements like basic communication and similar outlooks and interests. Give it a chance to be more than a sexual encounter.

Pacing.

You can't take a relationship faster than the pace at which BOTH guys are comfortable. In other words, if you tend to be more intense or serious than the other guy, ease up. Allow him time to discover how he feels and wants to proceed. Let go of needing to control the outcome.

Laws of attraction.

This means tuning into vibes from the other guy. Be honest with yourself. Often the level of attraction is not equal. If you sense your attraction to him is not really reciprocated, don't try to force the issue. Let it go and direct your energy toward a more promising candidate. And if you're the one who's less interested, let the other guy know as quickly and tactfully as possible. Don't leave him in limbo.

Stop ghosting.

Unreturned phone calls and lack of follow through is a real disappointment. We've probably all been on both sides of this issue. It's really simple. Have enough respect for each other to follow through and communicate where things stand. That way you can both move forward.

How does a single gay guy find his way to a right, lasting relationship? Our dating expert shares authentic sagas straight (so to speak) from his client's experiences to illuminate his seven principles, developed to help navigate today's dating challenges. From numerous tips and amazing but true anecdotes to fun-filled facts about where the boys are, readers will escape the dating minefields and find relationship success. Grab a copy to read more.